May 14, 2015

Little Devils

By Joyce B.

Everyone has their own experience of something horrifying. Their own tale of the most terrifying moment of their life. My story rises above all else, more intense and life changing then any experience you could ever imagine. Here is my tale.

Why of all places? Why?, I thought. About an hour ago I unknowingly entered into the worst situation imaginable. I thought back to about 2:00 when I believed that the most terrifying thing in the world was having to explain planking to your grandma. However at 2:00 December 16 2012, I learned that people weren’t kidding when they said the world would end in 2012.

I took a reluctant step into the elevator. It was already full, but I was late to a meeting. I squeezed in throwing an apologetic glance to my elevator “buddies”, who were a kindergarten class and their 50 year old teacher. As you can tell I had a dreadful feeling already. The terrible music played as I surveyed my surroundings. They were staring up at me with an evil glance, the kind of look that could only be held by the most fearsome species ever known to man: little kids.

We were about one minute in the elevator ride, and they were getting more anxious by the second. Suddenly, the elevator lurched to a stop, the lights flickered one, two, three, four times before completely shutting down. I wouldn’t make it to that meeting.

It took me about 10 seconds before I registered the situation at hand. I was in the middle of a sea of obnoxious idiotic petty little kids. Sure, they are adorable but that’s just a trick, once they get attached, they latch on like leeches. I tried my best not to come in contact with any of them, but it was inevitable. Now, this elevator broke down and the kid are freaking out. That teacher has already fainted, and the kids are slowly turning into human grenades. I try my best to calm those little pests but half of them are crying, and the other half are digging in my bag and pulling my hair. The operator down there said that it should only be one hour. Only. I smile shyly to the kids hoping they won’t sense my fear, but they were like dogs. This isn’t going to end well.

I started breathing heavily. It felt like that scene in Star Wars, where they were in the trash disposal and the walls were closing in. They were surrounded by trash, but I was surrounded by kindergarteners. I would have preferred the trash.

Trying to ignore the situation I call the operator down there.

“Hello,” she said in a cheery voice.

“Hi,” I replied in the same tone.

“How may I help you?” She replied.

“Well, I’m a little hungry, I really need  cup of coffee. Oh and there was something else what was it……. Oh yes, right now I a stuck with about thirty five year olds in an elevator. Their teacher has fainted, they are slowly advancing, and I don’t  think I can fend them off. Oh and great another one just ripped my 20 dollar bill in half. You better get me out of here quick or I swear to God-”

She hung up. I slam the phone into the wall, I start screaming and shouting. The kids, suddenly, all shut up, and looked at me. They look at me with that face. The face that says they are about to cry. I immediately tried to soothe them and calm them, but I failed. Now I am surrounded by 30, crying, snotty, little, kids. The teacher’s dead body literally floated up, because of the tears.

“Beep-” the intercom sounded.

“Hello, I am sorry to inform you, but this is taking longer than planned. You might be in the elevator for more than five hours. Thank you for your patience. Beep-” It shut off.

After the news I nearly ended up like their teacher. I needed to get out of there. In elevators you can get out through the top. I looked up. There is a little handle where you can pull it open. I swallow my pride, and took the top off. It appears as if it is doable. But first I have to take care of the kids. I couldn’t leave them there alone, I mean I’m terrible but I not a monster. After some time, and a few slaps, the teacher woke up. I told her of what I am going to do, and I start.

I’m not a pro, but I’ve seen Mission Impossible 4, so I’m more than qualified. I step on the railing, and the top of the elevator is in reach. Pushing up from the top I hoist myself up. By the time I appeared on the top. I was sweating like crazy, and I’m pretty sure my shoes were ruined, but it was all worth it.

“Beep-” the intercom sounded.

“We have received some great news. The fireman have been working hard and we will be down to get you in five minutes.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” I shouted, causing two kids to cry.

I looked down trying to finagle my way down. After about 3 minutes of pure stupidity, which I am familiar with. I finally realized that the only way down was with a ladder. I “patiently” waited for the fireman to come. In about fifteen minutes, notably fifteen not five, they finally came. They rounded up all the children and started to head out.

“Wait,” I shrieked looking down.

Suddenly one of them whirled around holding their gun and pointing it at me. Startled I lost my balance and started falling. I hit the ground with a thud. I didn’t even know firemen had weapons.

I woke up in a white room with four padded walls. I was hooked up to one of those fancy machines from the hospital.

“Nurse,” I yelled, despite the button that they give you that calls the nurse.

She told me that I had suffered severe head injuries and that my arm was broken. She also said that I would have to go to group therapy later because they are convinced that I am mentally insane. Perhaps they’re right. My phone was beeping off the hook; it was my boss. I took a deep breath, and then answered.

“Hello sir, how are you?” I said trying my best to sound like I care, that skill came with a very long career.

“How am I? Really, the biggest meeting in the firm’s history, and you miss it. I would be saying more to you, but Nixon is everywhere, and the NSA does not permit my kind of talk. Come to my office tomorrow, they can’t hear me there.” I sighed. “You know what sir? I quit.” I said hanging up before he could say anything else. I need a new career, who knows? Maybe I’ll even become a kindergarten teacher.